A-Liz in Wonderland

This happened a long time ago.... There was a time I was deeply hurt by someone. My 'friends' from college decided, around that time, that it would be fun to go to the beach and decided that it would be a 'girls' only' time (well...I'm gonna call them that for now, because I dunno what you call people you've known for over a month and they are your classmates but its not like you've bonded well with them.....especially when there are two people in that gang who don't like you and you don't know about it, but you're going to find out soon). So well I thought anyway it would be a good thing and it will help me take my mind off things for a while. I'm standing there at the beach watching the girls laugh and talk and run about and yea it really wasn't a bad idea...I was feeling lighter already. And then we remove our sandals and fold up our jeans to get into the water... I was really enjoying it..... Then one of them came up to me and s...

Many a times we try to pray, we say to ourselves, 'ok today I'm going concentrate like never before'. We start praying...sometimes we feel like we're talking to a wall, sometimes we're wondering if we're saying the right things or not...so who are we praying to? What are we praying about? How are we praying? What is prayer? Prayer is talking to God... we've  heard that a lot, since we were kids thanks to our catechism classes. And yet how is it that we tend to forget that? "Sheena, why do we need to pray to God?", he asked me, "isn't it enough that we do good deeds because that in itself is a prayer." I was quite taken aback when an uncle I know, my dad's good friend, asked me this. There was reason for his doubt though. My dad was going through a bad phase then and uncle couldn't understand how God did not ensure that my dad's troubles vanished, even though my dad went to church and prayed very often and is a good ma...

Always a smile, I love to bare, But often I find its hard to share. A million thoughts zoom across my head, While carefully choosing the paths I tread. For many of them that cross my way, With eyes of scorn seem to say: 'Come not near, or we would tear; And rip you down until you frown!' Glaring eyes that scan you through, Your dress, your form and everything you own. Its hard to miss that glint of green - so dark! An emerald would step down in speed. Underneath the plastic smiles and fake 'J'adores', Lies that tunnel of gossip galore! And that 'precious' we call the Heart That falls in love with secrets dark; Ruby red and crystal clear, to the naive, it seems to be. Fools them all, but I can see, darker than Sapphire* it appears to me. Alarmed, I guard my precious:  A Glass Heart in a Crystal Frame. Broken once it may have been, shattered pieces fixed with care. All I did was pass a smile, freely sharing all the while Any joy and cheer ...

Today was the first time I was going for the Easter vigil mass. It was at 11:30 pm. We had to stand during the mass, but I dint think that was a bad idea...your last little sacrifice. Besides I had a comfortable spot where I could see the mass happening on tv. So anyway I thought the mass was going pretty well. And the time came for the priests to bless the congregation with holy water. So as the priests came to the area where I was standing and blessed the people with holy water, I din't have even a drop of water fall on me! And I thought, 'that's it, it maybe because I din't actually feel sorry for my sins and din't do as many sacrifices, or pray as often, or never tried hard enough to be a good girl'. And I started to panic thinking I wasn't worthy to receive the Risen Lord. I felt so upset that the Lord ignored me ( well so I thought) and thought all was lost. You know how a little kid cries for his/her parents wen he/she is lost in a crowd? The de...

" Dad's not worried, he's ok...", I said, "he was telling me you would ask a lot of questions and stuff.."   I was terribly restless by now. 'That's it I can't be bothered. I can't take it anymore!', I thought to myself....... "And he told me to discuss the future and what my plans are", I said.  Its amazing how you can just say things like that but I think that was limit of my patience. " So any more questions?", I asked him. "Questions?.."he laughed, "....this is not an interview". YES I KNOW!!! But I cant take it anymore and I'm dying to get out!!! "Okie so I've told you about my job, future, kids (imagine discussing that with a total stranger!!).....oh and cooking!!!", I said, ignoring the little voice inside me saying Sheens enough is enough, behave yourself.  "Ok if there's a table of food out here..", I said, gesturing to the table in front of us, "...I...

So his phone rings... and I'm like "Thank God!". And he looks at his phone...and there's silence... "You can answer the call, its ok",  I said, because I couldn't figure out if he wanted to answer it but wasn't doing so because I was there. "No...its ok.....its my senior manager....", he said and kept looking at his phone. "No really its ok, go ahead", I said. He shook his head looking at the phone.  "Please pick it up", I thought, "I could use a break!". But he didn't pick it up and went on to amuse me saying "Its a new phone and I don't know how to put it on silent yet..." Go figure! And after some more minutes of blah blah and me making stupid conversation, he says, " So I heard you're interested in art ?" "OK sweet of you to try and get me engaged", I thought. "Yea !! I love art, painting and anything that's creative." Full stop! What a vague answer ...

Yea so like I was saying, I was sitting there and watching my parents leave to give us the 'few minutes of conversation'....and hoping they would come back soon, because it didn't make sense sitting there when your pretty sure you didn't want to talk....But manners teach you to be nice... And so as I looked on, my mom turned and wished me best of luck and that made me smile!! She can be quite adorable sometimes..... and I look back at Mr. IIMA who was watching me quite keenly( you know the look on Tom's face when he gets Jerry alone?) and I thought 'Wow I'm a lab specimen now'!! Although I found that weird, I smiled and said, 'Well I dunno wot to say" and shrugged my shoulders TWICE! 'Ok why am I getting nervous?', I thought to myself. It isn't like me to get nervous because I  have two brothers and I have no issues with being around guys. And he was like, " Hold on, I'll sit next to you" and came to sit on the sofa...

You know, I think pretty much everyone goes through this stage in their lives......the stage where you now have to think of marriage.....except in my case its being thought of for me by my folks as is custom, culture, or whatever you want to call it....I'm not against arranged marriages but I just don't think I'm ready for a marriage yet. Besides its going to happen when my time comes whether I'm ready for it or not.. so why hurry? I love my folks for making it a 'not so embarrassing' process for me.....and yet I do get annoyed when my mom says "Let's go through the matrimonial site and see if there are any nice guys!" The very post that follows is the after effect of such a discussion with my mom. Luckily for me, my parents havent pushed me to meet a lot of guys. And I've just met one guy so far till date (its been 8 months since we started looking), the one they were very keen for me to meet. Mr.IIMA (+ MTech + Btech) was a pretty decent ...

Yes! That's what I call Him.....my God, my Creator, Abba and Friend - 'My Old man with a white beard'. I think I started calling Him that one day, as I lay in bed, I wondered what it would be like to meet God. I wanted to think of Him as that kind old man - a father, who is crazy about us.. So then I let my imagination run wild and here's what I came up with: My God is really old, I reckoned, considering earth was made several millions of years ago. So He's really old, like millions of years old...and how do I represent that? The beard of course!!! Its the longest white beard ever...so long that it spilled over to form the clouds in the sky!! And picture this : A really old, yet powerful man, with white hair and white beard (really long that it forms clouds all around the throne He sits on)...and you're also walking on it to reach up to Him. He looks at you and smiles..... Every time there is trouble and I call out to Him, He will put the tip of His bea...

Theeps me miss u!!!! I miss those times of 'gossip galore' in the dark 'haunted' corridor of SPJain.... 'They' knew perhaps that two souls would need that quiet getaway from all the chaos happening outside in the world around them... 'They' placed that sofa there so 'they' could watch us as we talked and laughed about everything under the sun that amused us. 'They' watched us as we dished out secrets over our cups of coffee..... gosh how we were addicted to that!!! Do you reckon it was 'they' that followed us on the bridge to Henderson waves when we went walking at 11:30 in the night? 'They' could definitely see us walk across the Alexandra Arch from that corridor!! Speaking of 'them' remember that night we went to Mc.Donalds and saw God's eye & the female? She was sipping coffee by the window and we thought she looked like she was waiting for someone. Her appearance was quite scary but all I can ...